Hello, summer!

As some of you know, I have come back to work at camp this summer. I felt called to come back at a Chi Alpha conference over New Year's weekend, and I've been anxiously waiting ever since. 

I've also been scared.

Last summer was so exhausting. Not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally. The tension was high towards the end which made it increasingly difficult to trust God and lean on him. That's why when I started feeling called to come back I was like, "Uhh you sure, God?"

I had been feeling a strong urge to text my boss and tell her I was coming back for a couple of days already, but I resisted. Not just because of the toll it took on me last summer, but also because I had already made plans to work and go to summer classes. I would be giving up opportunities for potential internships and making up hours in order to graduate on time.

That night, the worship team played a couple of songs (it was a while ago so forgive me for not remembering which song played first pls). One of them was Tremble by Mosaic MSC and the other was an excerpt from the song Sanctuary. These songs mean so much to me.

Tremble was my anthem last summer. It constantly reminded me just how powerful God is and that I can put my trust in him. He calms the raging storms, awakens the dead, and makes the freakin' darkness tremble. How dope is that?

Sanctuary was my favorite song to sing every summer while I was a camper. The worship leader played it my first time ever going to camp, and it has since been in my heart year after year. It's sweet to hear it now and look back on who I was back then. If you have ever heard my testimony, then you would know that I had to grow up pretty fast. I loved going to that camp every summer to escape my home life and sing that song at the top of my lungs with the people around me. I looked forward to having that sense of freedom and didn't even realize that was the kind of freedom that a relationship with Jesus gives us.

I'm still learning how to trust and give everything to Jesus. Just in case you don't already know, let me tell you now: it's hard. I've just got to keep reminding myself that I'm not living this life for myself, but I'm living it for Jesus.

Anyway, I have a great feeling about this summer. Just for a life update in case you wanted one: it's training week, day 2. I've passed all the pre-tests to enter lifeguard training (THANK YOU, JESUS), definitely gotten sunburned, and my whole body already aches.

Maybe I'll update y'all if I don't get lazy. :')

P.S. text me if you want to send me mail, because that would be the raddest thing ever.